The Humble Mentor
Okay, first off, yes, I do realise that calling this post The Humble Mentor slightly defeats the point. If you have to tell people you're humble, are you really? But hey, it sounded catchy, so here we are.
This isn’t about pretending to be a guru with all the answers. It’s about the kind of mentorship that doesn’t rely on superiority, but on empathy, openness and shared growth. The best mentors I’ve had weren’t flawless. They were just a little further down the path and willing to walk alongside me, not ahead of me.
Ditching The Pedestal
We’ve all worked with people who seem to enjoy the power that comes with a title or a bigger paycheque. They stand proud and look down at those with less experience, as if time served automatically makes them superior. But this mindset is not only outdated, it’s harmful. Experience should never be used as a weapon. It should be used to support and encourage. We all started somewhere and no matter how long you’ve been writing code, there’s always someone out there who knows more than you do.
Mentorship isn’t about proving how much you know. It’s about making space for others to grow and sometimes that means letting go of your ego. Good mentors are grounded. They remember what it felt like to be new and they choose to lift others up rather than keeping them down. Let go of the pedestal, there’s nothing noble about standing alone at the top.
From Expert To Ally
As we grow in our development journey we eventually reach a point where people start looking to us for answers. We become the ones with context, the ones who have seen the bugs and shipped the features and wrestled with the legacy code. But with that can come a quiet shift away from collaboration and toward control. We start being seen as the expert and it can be tempting to lean into that a little too much.
The goal is not to be the hero, it is to build a team that does not need one.
Real leadership is not about having the final say. It is about opening the floor. When you are the only one solving problems or making decisions you create a bottleneck. Worse still you discourage others from stepping up. A better path is to stay approachable, invite discussion and help others build the confidence to contribute. Encourage questions and share credit.
Learning Flows Both Ways
As developers we are never done learning. There is always more to explore, whether it is improving how we solve problems, understanding a new library or finding better ways to manage technical debt. Experience might speed up our thinking or deepen our instincts, but it does not mean we have nothing left to gain. In fact, one of the biggest mistakes a senior developer can make is believing they have reached the top of the curve.
Juniors may have less experience but they often bring new ideas and fresh perspectives. They have not yet been shaped by years of doing things one way and that can be a strength. Sometimes they ask the right questions. Sometimes they notice what others have overlooked. If you believe there is nothing to learn from someone newer to the field, you are closing yourself off from growth. Mentoring is not a one-way exchange. It is a shared opportunity to get better together.
Letting Go Without Letting Down
When you are in a mentoring role, it can be hard to find the right balance between helping too much and not helping at all. No one wants to be micromanaged. It slows everything down and undermines trust. The goal is not to hold someone’s hand through every step, but also not to leave them to sink or swim on their own.
If you are in a lead position, try to delegate with care. Give tasks that stretch people just enough to learn something new. Let them work through a problem before stepping in. And when you do need to step in, do it side by side. Offer support, not control.
TL;DR
A humble mentor measures success by the growth they help create, not the credit they collect. Ego builds walls and humility builds bridges that let everyone move forward together.
- Embrace not having all the answers and value empathy over superiority.
- Experience should uplift others, not create distance or hierarchy.
- Leadership means fostering collaboration, not controlling every decision.